Did you ever feel TSTL? When I was younger I felt like that most of the time. It turns out lack of confidence is a bizarre thing. It robs you of a tremendous number of opportunities in your life. It feels funny when I consider how many people love me now.
I was always the super QUITE GIRL in class. I let people bully me , which I shouldn't have but keeping quite was the only self defense I had ,it always made me feel in confident. Now I realize how terrible it is, some people don't realize what they can cause that person to do, how much psychological damage they can cause, if they push them off the edge. I had been bullied a lot & i know how that feels.
I was not the only one being bullied there were many girls I saw who got affected by this constant criticism, this caused them to change into totally different people from who they really were, they had totally lost themselves but still hadn't found any confidence . I feared that this may happen to me but I was stronger than I thought. It took me a lot of patience but staying strong always pays off. I always asked what bad I had done to those who hurt me but i realized that it was not my fault it was their insecurities ,hurt ,low self confidence which they conveniently took out on me. As any teenage girl would do I wanted to lash out too, hurt them the way they hurt me but that would make me no better person than them, it would be just as mean. i didn't want to be what they wanted me to become , a cross between Heidi montage and hitter like they were . i struggled to be who i was . I didn't take their nastiness personally they were probably hurt and sad , but if I were to only be mean to defend myself , it would turn into me being the bully.
Being kind and not hurting them didn't make them any better but it surely made me a better person.